What I do at 5:40 AM on a Friday.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE: HOMELESS EDITION
(no stealing please)









IMFO.

Blabberings II and Hippies, Nascar, and Party Drugs

1. I'm pretty sure it's fair to say that killing people with a Rambo style hunting knife is the most savage way to kill a person that I can imagine.... well... except for taking gold from a Puerto Rican and HANDING them a hunting knife.

2. Anything bigger than an 8 inch cock is showing off, you guys are fuckers for making the rest of us look bad.

3. Judd Apatow's upcoming film Funny People can already be penciled in as the funniest film of 2009 and they haven't shot a scene...

4. Brett Favre is adorable and everything he's done this offseason has just been hilarious... when is someone going to write a spoof of this based around "Little T Learns To Share"?

5.

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Hippies
In the 60's, hippies were fucking awesome. They actually had a purpose and weren't just in it for the homelessness. These days it seems, all hippies are fucking retards that do way too much crystal... so they get a fail.

Nascar
ha, don't make me laff.

Party Drugs
I'm not into them, but the people that use them are fucking hilarious. This also seems to be the main inspiration for most Hold Steady songs, so they're not all bad I guess.

This Blog Entry is SWEET

Mimes are fucking weird and serve no purpose. Who is entertained by these cocksuckers? really... Their entire profession it seems is just outgaying clowns. I get it, they do things without the thing... but can they just do it with the fucking thing? GOD!

Now... onto relevant things

I have come to realize that my brain is loaded with so much fucking media that I can no longer sleep. It seems that most of the time it's just the most random things lodged in the back of my brain. I really do not need to be thinking of my favorite quotes from Superbad or about World War II when I'm trying to get the fuck to sleep. Is it bad that I'm playing that much Rock Band that I'm incapable of getting Ballroom Blitz the fuck out of my head!?!?!? "THIS IS THE BALLROOM BLITZ! THIS IS THE BALLROOM BLITZ! THIS IS THE BALLROOM BLITZ!" SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!



NO!

anyway... um... yeah...

ask me questions or some shit, give me something to write about or suggest some porn I should post.

and now I'm going to bed, I'll be back tomorrow and I'm throwing down the gauntlet of 10 comments by the time I wake up... if they are not here I will stop blogging forever.

FUCKING SHIT AND COCKS AND CUNTS

This is a story about triumph and glory and profanity.

as everyone that is reading this already knows, they do not allow profanity on PSH, this has always made me sad. I know I am not alone in feeling the censorship burden as we all want to swear like true artists.

well folks, this isn't PSH... I can say words like fuck and I will.

thank you.

Blabberings I

1. does posting random thoughts in Blog form make me a homosexual or do I have to carry out a homosexual act first?

2. I don't see the point in buying new video games when I can just dump more money into Rock Band DLC.

3. I approve of Christian Bale's "Batman Voice". He sounds like a pissed off Mickey Rourke after you give him a puppy with Parvo.

4. Chain restaurants are easily the lamest things ever invented, drunks should go to bars and people that want to eat should go to localized establishments.

5. I've had the same blanket since the mid 90's, it is the only thing I have left from my childhood that I can remember. I don't think I would be ever to be able to part with it but it's beginning to deteriorate in every way... it's sad

6. I have eaten better Chicken Wings than any of you, I am the PSH expert on said subject imo.

The Typical Workday

for those of you who aren't aware...
my name is Kyle and I'm a Security Guard.

I make a glorious 8 dollars an hour sitting at a desk answering a phone for most of the day. I am a glorified receptionist... my name is Kyle and I'm a Security Guard.

I start work at 4 PM and work until midnight on Monday through Friday, often times my relief doesn't show and I have to stay an extra hour with no extra pay...my name is Kyle and I'm a Security Guard.

every now and then they let me out of my cage, and I get to go on "rounds", this is basically the site's way of making sure that I am indeed doing my job. During rounds I stick a metal rod onto computer chips on the wall, this ensures that there are chips on the wall.. because if a chip is missing I am expected to fill out paper work explaining why I think that chip is missing and probably how I feel about it. I think a missing chip would make me feel hollow and sad, but luckily I have not had to deal with the loss that a missing chip could bring.

If something goes down, I am not supposed to intervene. My job is to stare menacingly at the no-gooders, call the cops if they stare back, and then fill out a report explaining how I feel about it.

also, my site is group home for mental patients... so that's always fun.